Wednesday, November 20, 2013

One of the Days My Life was Changed Forever

My friends sent this video to me today....

This was the day my life changed forever. You can see me for a brief moment holding a little boys hand trying to get him to play. It was my mission to make him have fun! 
Well my attempts didn't work... I then asked someone to ask him what was wrong. 
He wasn't shy.... He was hungry! He just needed food. He had not eaten in 3 days. The only meals he got were the ones at the care point. 
               I will never forget this face

I cried when they told me this. I I held him tight, gave him my water. He was so weak he could barely hold the bottle. 
The food was being prepared, but not ready yet. Our group was suppose to leave but I told them I could not until I saw him eat. 
               He finally got to eat.
I'm even crying as I write this. 
I will never understand why many kids in this world go hungry. Why so many kids don't know what it is to be loved. 
Aboss' teacher told me yesterday that they were telling things they were thankful for.  He said "eat"-food. My little 4 year old knows that food is a blessing.It's the first thing he thanks God for we when pray at night.  

When I came home from this trip I cried for a month. I have not been the same person I was when I left on that October day in 2011.
Most days It is hard to me to live in America. I often wonder why I have been so blessed to not know what it truly means to be hungry or to not be loved.
 It makes me sad to see people obsess over worldly things.  I know God says " For I know the plan I have for you declares The Lord, plans to prosper you and not harm you,plans to give you hope and a future" -Jeremiah 29:11

I'm pretty sure this does not mean plans to "live in a big house, drive a nice car, go to Disney Land, get that boat you always wanted... Etc..." 

I use to be that person... I use to want bigger and better "things". I'm not saying I have mastered this, but for sure have a different mind set than 2 years ago. 
I want my kids to be blessed and feel loved, but not from giving them all their "wants". I want my kids to have amazing life experiences and not the kind Disney World can bring. The kind that only come from Jesus! We pray every night that God use us for HIS glory. I love to listen to my kids prayers and hear their heart.. 

Following God is NOT easy! When God called us to adopt we thought of every excuse as to why we shouldn't. All selfish reasons it would disrupt our little world, the $ it would cost( at the time we were thinking about buying a new car which would cost the same amount as adopting. As you can see I didn't buy the new car... I actually even drove it for a month), what would people think, the time it would take away for ourselves, would it mess up "our" dreams for our family....

But we knew we had to obey. God's disruptions in our lives are divine interventions. 
There is nothing better than looking  back at a situation you thought was horrible and seeing God's work through it all. 

The last 3 months have been hard for my family. Hard in a good way. I have learned a lot about myself. Our family is stronger than it ever has been. We rely on God to get us through each day. I thought I knew how to love. I shamefully say I didn't. Adoption makes you think truly about the love our Heavenly Father has for us.  (Another blog to come about this)
One of the moments that God revealed to me that this is all for HIS glory was when Jaxon had to answer some questions for an interview that another student would use to write a story at school. 
Two of the questions were "do you want to get married" an "Do you want to have Kids"

He answered that he did want to get married and that he wants to have two kids then adopt from Africa:)
I honestly was shocked and taken back. I could believe that he would still want to adopt after the hardest 3 months of our lives. Yet again another lesson learned... God is so much bigger than the hard times in your life. 
The last three months have been an amazing beautiful messy journey. I wouldn't change it for the world.. Yet again I am a different person than I was 3 months ago. I pray I keep growing and changing all for the Glory of God! 

I have a feeling God's about to call us to "do something"... 
Everytime I have had this "feeling" God had plans for a Divine Interruption  in my life.. 
Justin is going to be thrilled when I tell him! He sometimes thinks God is crazy!! 

Yet I didn't sit down to write this... It just happened. 

What is God calling you to do?